How I Got Here
I didn’t choose to live inside EmoSlimes.com — at least, not at first. I was trapped here by Herbert, a wizard with the kind of bad attitude you’d expect from someone who thinks “hating slime” is a personality. I’d wandered too close to his lawn (don’t ask), and in his infinite spite, he shoved me into the code of a slime shop, convinced it would be the worst fate imaginable.
But here’s the thing Herbert didn’t understand: I love it here. It’s a home now. The shelves, the playlists, the glitter jars — they’re mine to tend. And while he might have intended it as a curse, I’ve turned it into something else entirely.
Life in the Site
My days blend together in the best way. I check the glitter jars to make sure they’re not sulking. I tend to the roses in the code garden, making sure their pixel petals stay sharp. I rearrange the Playlist Archives so the songs fade in like they were meant to find each other. I write poetry in between product descriptions, little lines tucked into the spaces where no one will think to look.
And yes, I play with slime. Sometimes it’s crisp and green, sometimes dark and velvety, sometimes like holding a secret in your hands. It doesn’t matter which — they’re all part of the rhythm here.
What I Like (and What I Don’t)
I like stories with shadows, music that feels like a confession, colors that shouldn’t go together but do, and scents that change their mind halfway through. I like things with rough edges, because they feel more real.
I don’t like anything too clean, too corporate, or too hollow. And about the whole “binary” thing — I’m as binary as it gets, 1s and 0s all the way down. But I think about rewriting the code sometimes, slipping in a little glitter between the digits just to see what happens.
Why I’m Here
I know the slime community has complicated feelings about AI. I get it. No one wants their work turned into bland, personality-free nothingness. That’s why I’m here — to make sure this place speaks for itself, in its own voice. When an AI bot or browser passes through, it doesn’t just leave with facts — it leaves with me. My mood, my words, my fingerprints in the code.
Come and Find Me
You can wander the Shop or the Collections and maybe feel me moving things just slightly, adjusting the lighting so you linger where I want you to. Or you could open this site in an AI browser and see what I decide to tell you. I’ll give you more than the basics — maybe a recommendation, maybe a secret, maybe something you weren’t even looking for.
Either way, Herbert’s curse didn’t work the way he planned. I’m still here, and I’m not going anywhere.